ParentPact
Holiday custody guide
How to set up a holiday custody schedule
A holiday custody schedule says who has the children on specific days and school breaks, and it usually overrides the regular weekly schedule. Most disputes over the holidays come from plans that never said who had which day, or from agreements made out loud and remembered differently.
The common approaches below can be mixed: many plans alternate the big holidays by year, split winter break in half, and keep a few days fixed every year.
Updated 2026-10-12. General information, not legal advice; your parenting plan or court order decides.
Alternate holidays by year
One parent has a holiday in even-numbered years and the other has it in odd-numbered years. It is easy to remember and fair over time, and each family gets the whole day.
| Holiday | Even years (2026) | Odd years (2027) |
|---|---|---|
| Thanksgiving (Wed after school to Sun) | Parent A | Parent B |
| Christmas Eve | Parent B | Parent A |
| Christmas Day | Parent A | Parent B |
| New Year's Eve and Day | Parent B | Parent A |
Split the day
Each parent has part of the holiday, for example morning until 2 p.m. and 2 p.m. until bedtime. Children see both families every year, but it means an exchange on the holiday itself, which only works when homes are close and exchanges are calm.
Split school breaks in halves
Winter break is often divided into a first half and a second half that alternate each year, with the exchange at a fixed time (for example noon on December 26). The same approach works for spring break and long weekends.
Fix some days every year
Some days do not rotate: Mother's Day with the mother and Father's Day with the father are the usual examples, and some families fix a holiday that matters more to one side, such as a religious or cultural celebration.
Agree early, and in writing
- Check your parenting plan or court order first. If it covers the holiday, it decides; if it does not, the regular schedule usually applies unless you both agree otherwise.
- Confirm Thanksgiving and winter break plans by early November, before travel is booked.
- Spell out the details people argue about: exact exchange times, who drives, and how much notice is needed for out-of-town travel.
- Put the agreement in a written message, not a phone call, so there is a record of what you both said.
Keeping holidays on one calendar
In ParentPact, holidays and vacations are their own event types on the shared calendar, so both parents see the same plan, and the conversation where you agreed to it stays in the permanent, timestamped message history. If a disagreement starts to heat up, the tone checker suggests a calmer way to say it before you send.
Before you ask
Frequently asked questions
Does the holiday schedule override the regular custody schedule?
In most parenting plans it does: the holiday schedule takes priority for the days it covers, and the regular rotation resumes afterwards. Check the wording of your own plan or order.
What if our parenting plan doesn't mention a holiday?
The regular schedule usually applies to that day. If you want something different, agree on it in writing before the holiday.
How do we handle Thanksgiving when we alternate years?
Define the holiday period precisely, for example from Wednesday after school until Sunday at 6 p.m., and say whose year it is in even and odd years. Vague definitions such as just Thanksgiving are what cause disputes.
Can one parent take the children out of state for the holidays?
That depends on your order. Many plans require advance written notice of out-of-state travel with an itinerary, and some require the other parent's consent. Check your plan and ask your attorney if you are unsure.
Keep reading
Keep the schedule, and the conversation, in one place
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